Moving Mountains: Perspective and Possibility from Brain Injury and Vision Loss to the World’s Highest Peaks
Read more about Jill Wheatley and her story on her website, Mountains of My Mind
Between intolerable headaches, cravings wavered between an intense desire to transcend deep in a timewarp to life the way it used to be and yearning for life to be no more.
From autonomous athlete, teacher, and coach racing bikes in the Alps to an ambulance racing down the Autobahn. From intensive care to wheelchair. From teetering footsteps to navigating hospital wings. From one diagnosis to countless others, in a dark crevasse, endless labels quickly led to lost hope for life.
The accident took 70% of my eyesight, my appetite, my memory, and every ounce of my optimism with it. Suggesting I would not survive without intensive medical intervention, navigating a trail back to life among Bavaria’s pristine peaks that had been a playground for my skis, bikes, snowshoes and running shoes was impossible to imagine.
Too weak to walk, I struggled physically, emotionally and, a nightmare patient, was not willing to comply with doctor's orders. Unable to lift a leg to 90 degrees, stand in the shower, or ever be unsupervised, this horrifying mountain would never lead to a worthy view. Dependent on a gastro-jejunal feeding tube, I am left with another scar; a hole in my abdomen will forever remind me of what I have survived. As I became more stable, my cognitive deficits began to be addressed and, with that, harsh reality and frustration. I could see less than half of what I used to and felt like a different person with an inept ability to think, plan, concentrate, or remember. The capable, clear thinker I once was an utter stranger. This character, full of shame in her scars, was not welcome in my story; a story that felt fictitious, a horror in fact.
The surreal story, set throughout 7 hospitals in 3 countries for more than 26 months; filled with caregivers, hundreds of hands and hearts who believed something that I did not. They are the reason I can share this story of serendipity.
No driver’s license, no apartment, no residency, work permit or inner light. The only sign I could see pointed towards mountains. I chose mountains to shelter me from society, to be alone with mother nature in search of acceptance and purpose. What I found was perspective and possibility.
From the darkest crevasse - traumatic brain injury, to the world’s highest peaks, being an adaptive adventure athlete I choose to embrace the life I nearly lost. I choose to climb challenging mountains; I choose to challenge the mountains of my mind.
While climbing all of the world’s 14 peaks that stand above 8 000 m, I aim to break down the stigma associated with traumatic brain injury, vision loss, and eating disorders. Having summited 7 of our world’s highest Himals within the last year, half way through Vision 8000, though no longer a teacher in the literal sense, my choices allow others to learn the power of perspective and possibility.
When I am asked for “motivation/helpful tips that helped you during your recovery periods”:
I prefer to steer clear of the term recovery because to recover is to return to something and I feel that, thanks to the lessons of my Traumatic Brain Injury, I have learned and grown, I am a better person, more in touch with my values than I was at the time my life took a turbulent turn.
Accepting and adapting to the ways traumatic brain injury has changed my life is the most challenging mountain I have faced. Finding lessons has been a gift of TBI which I hope others struggling with adversity can connect to:
Choice
Though I did not choose my TBI I have the opportunity to choose my response.
The Power of Perspective
Shift from what I lost to what I have gained (e.g. new perspective of what is important, connection to my values, ability to ‘see’ how I can help others)
Embracing Impermanence
Nothing stays the same forever (e.g. I was stuck and did not believe life with a ‘disability’ was worth fighting for)
Acceptance: Shift from ‘normal’, to shock and disbelief; not ready to feel better; now wanting to feel better)
Authenticity
Letting go of “shoulds” and who society can lead us to believe who we are supposed to be
Secrets keep us sick (e.g. talk about struggles, not alone)
Vulnerability
Courage to be seen creates connections: authenticity + vulnerability = connection
Values
Who I want to be, what I stand for and how I want to relate to the world. I aim to …
Health balance physical and mental health to thrive holistically.
Empathy understand and share the feelings of others.
Connection invite others in my days.
Communication listen first; share feelings openly.
Authenticity be true to myself.
Vulnerability speak my truth to help myself and others.
Humour see and appreciate the humorous side of life.
Mission
My mission is to release the shackles of stigma that traumatic brain injury, vision loss, eating disorders and posttraumatic stress disorder hold. Through mountain experiences, I develop acceptance and shine light on the power of perspective and possibility.
Vision
From surviving to thriving, I aim to
be completely present in the moment.
explore curiously in mountains and within myself.
shine light on the power of perspective.
move beyond barriers, adventuring in mountains.
use my vulnerability to connect and encourage.